Death of the Chelsey Nebraska Act

My dad recently mentioned that I haven’t posted on here since December. The truth is, I don’t feel any passion towards this project anymore. The Chelsey Nebraska Act was started at the end of a job and shortly after having my first baby. It was my intention to use this blog to settle in and start liking the state that I was destined to be in for a long time. Little did I know, it was actually an attempt to appreciate the here and now. What I have realized in the nearly five years since starting this, is that I don’t need Nebraska to appreciate my here and now.  I think it was a fun project that served a purpose for me and I am grateful for that, but my passions have changed. I see things differently.

As much as I would like to be able to write about the beauty of this state, I can’t anymore. I cannot continue to write in a voice that is no longer (or maybe never was) mine.  I have changed, and when I feel like writing I feel like being brutally honest. I feel like telling everyone about the deep pain and the deep joy I feel. I feel like talking about how god damned hard being a mom is some day, and also how some days I feel like the luckiest human on the planet. I want to tell everyone about how my soul is being transformed. About how I refuse to tolerate hate, fear, bigotry, and close-mindedness. I can no longer sit by and pretend to be someone I am not.

Who am I? I am a mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend, a feminist, a liberal, a believer in love and mysticism.  I am open-hearted and open-minded. I believe everyone should have equal rights and a right to love and feel safe. I get angry and feel rage about the current state of our world, our families, and our lives. I ebb and flow…which is probably why I decided to publish this after a full moon. Some days I feel grounded and like I can spread love to the world, and some days I want to burn it all down. I am human and I am evolving. I have never felt “seen” in this world, but I am seeing myself for the first time. I am new and I am old.

So, I just can’t write any more puff pieces on here. It’s not me. I cannot sit by and tell you how great this Republican state is. It has it’s perks like any state does, but everyone (every state) can make progress. Everyone is capable of change. Everyone can love more and fear/hate less. Everyone can choose presence over worry and regret. But we cannot do it alone.  We must do it together and we must speak up about love and change. Passivity is only making things worse and it’s my belief that, as a human race, we are being called to make radical change. So here’s to the the death of the Chelsey Nebraska Act and the birth of something new!

 

A feminist is any woman who tells the truth about her life. 

-Virginia Woolf 

 

Advertisements

Winter phenomenon.

No flash. Just light.

No flash. Just light.


I often dream of a winterless a winter. A place that never sees snow or experiences the bitter chill of a 10 degree day. Then every year, winter comes and brings with it a sense of peace and ending. A time to retreat and rest up for the spring. If you live in Nebraska you don’t stop in the summer: you are busy every weekend, you eat outdoors as much as you can, you go swimming as much as you can, you try to absorb every parcel of vitamin D that the sun has to offer. This requires a great deal of energy, and I find that by the end of summer, I am ready for a break. Winter allows us to slow down, to cozy up on the couch, to read, to watch movies, to sleep, to watch the beauty of outside from within.
Reindeer.

Reindeer.

The first big snow storm is always magical. It always brings a blanket of comfort and quiet. It also brings light. Winter is dark. The days end at 5 PM and start at 8 AM. But when you get a good snow, sometimes you get this weird winter light that feels like broad daylight into the night. Because of the reflection of the snow and the cloud coverage, you can see blocks away just like it was daytime. And all of the sudden you feel safe. Like nothing bad could ever happen. This is a phenomenon I have often recognized and appreciated, but never really discussed with anyone else. After our first big snowfall this winter, my husband and I talked about how lucky we are to experience this.

Just doing a little outdoor maintenance after the first snow.

Just doing a little outdoor maintenance after the first snow.

A ways into winter, after your body has properly rested and the vitamin D has been fully depleted from your system you are ready for spring again. You crave it and need it. Sometimes you have to wait, and sometimes the winter gives you breaks of sunshine and warmth to help you make it to the end. So until then, I am going to go hibernate.

Wine to keep you warm.

Wine to keep you warm.

Staycation Dreams

The past several months of my existence have been focused on a new house and new baby and this focus will not subside until later this year, I believe. So while I am busy preparing my new home for my new baby, I think about the wonderful little staycations I’d like to take. Since I don’t want to forget my ideas when the time comes, I have decided to post them here.

1. Stay in a hotel in Omaha and go to all of the new bars and restaurants that I constantly miss out on. This staycation may not be as relaxing but by the time I take this staycation I will probably need reminding that I am not an old woman or milk machine.

2. My boo and I will be celebrating 10 years of dating this year, so we could switch up #1 and instead of going to new places, we could go to all our old favorites when we first started dating. When we started dating we worked in the Old Market. So we’d probably have to stay down there- eat at M’s Pub, and drink at Mr. Toads and La Buvette or maybe just in the back room at City Limits.

3. Stay in a cabin for a weekend at Mahoney State Park or Platte River State Park
Cabin must have a fireplace and comfy cozy space to lounge around for 48 hours. I would just plan on drinking strong cocktails in front of said fireplace and sleeping a lot.

4. Slightly further away, but still probably qualifies at staycation, I would like to go GLAMPING. Slattery Vintage Estates is about an hour out of town and it’s a winery that also has glamour camping. Wine + a tent that has a bed in it = my kind of camping.

So even though I only have 4 ideas listed, my brain is not working well enough to remember these in a few months when I can take this staycation. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and just trying to look forward to a time when I won’t be huge and exhausted, and will be able to enjoy some much needed time with my husband away from our two kids. This is totally going to happen…SOMEDAY!!!

If a picture could epitomize the feelings I hope a staycation will give me, this is it.

If a picture could epitomize the feelings I hope a staycation will give me, this is it.

Out of Nebraska

I just survived a road trip to Georgia…with a one year old in tow.  I have always claimed to  hate road trips, and this one had it’s moments, but overall I really did enjoy the experience.  There were a few meltdowns (both me and Edith), but we all survived without any threat of divorce or adoption.  On our 16 hour drive we traveled through Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, and finally Georgia where we got to see a beautiful couple get married (Congrats Dave and Barbara!)

Somewhere in Tennessee, I think!

My eyes were really opened to how amazing it is that we live in this huge country that has so many climates, landscapes, and cultures.  I have been to Branson, Missouri on a number of horrible family vacations and never realized that the entire state (not only the Ozarks) is covered in beautiful bluffs and trees. You get to drive through and see the layers of red earth and every color of tree.  The people of Missouri were all gems too.  Well I guess I should say the old people we encountered at a McDonald’s were.  Every single one of them said good morning to us and gave Edith a cute wave or smile. This was a welcome change  a day after I was at a mall in Omaha and surrounded by old ladies who ignored me, and refused to hold door for me despite needing help maneuvering with a stroller… humph!

I couldn’t resist posting this photo of Edith in a sailor outfit, I didn’t take enough pictures on this trip!

It was such a great time of year for this trip. The trees were turning, and really changed from the beginning of the trip to the end.  Nearing Nashville we drove through these large hills. It was morning and with the fog, I felt like we were in a rain-forest.  And close to Chattanooga we saw a natural spring/waterfall coming out of the rocks next to the interstate. The Smoky Mountains are completely deserving of their name.  The low and intense fog makes you feel  like you are driving into a giant fire. Northern Georgia was just as gorgeous as the rest of the trip.  We drove over Lake Lanier several times. It’s a sight you just don’t see in Nebraska, the red clay banks and forests lining the lake.  In Georgia, we also saw signs almost every mile that there were boiled peanuts for sale.  We didn’t stop to partake of them, honestly they sound gross, but it was cool to see so many people selling things near the road.

Photos taken from the car…not ideal!

Even though I enjoyed traveling through this part of the country I am still happy to be living in Nebraska. There may not be mountains, big lakes, or tree-lined roads, but it’s clean, safe, and there are never pedestrians on the interstate (I’m talking about you Missouri).  I think about how much I have yet to discover about Nebraska and then I think about the rest of the country and I get overwhelmed.  I really hope the whole “buy local” trend expands to traveling. We all have so much to appreciate right where we are.

Driving into Nebraska.

It turned fall while we were away!